In Darkness, Find Your Light

From the minute we came home from work last night, until the minute our heads hit the pillows, we were shopping... there were so many little things left to get, even though we'd done most of it in November... we decided to try and do it all in one night.

It didn't end up working quite as we'd planned, and we still had several present-findings left to accomplish, when we came back home- exhausted- at the end of our shopping trip. We took off our shoes, stretched our aching muscles and noticed that our answering machine light was blinking: one message.

We live in an apartment building of four apartments- the lovely woman across from us adores us, the young man that lives above her is very shy (so we never see him), and the lady above us...? She never met us, and decided that she truly disliked us. She's made our stay in the apartments ... horrible (Specific problems left unsaid here, of course). We tried to see past that this holiday season, and left a little card outside of her door- a simple wish for happiness this month, with our names signed.

She had waited until we left our aparment to look up our phone number, call us and leave us this message:

"Thanks for the card... but I just want you to know that I have *no* intentions of being friends with you people. Merry Christmas. *click*"

We listened to the message, dumbstruck... and hurt. We've never been anything but kind and compassionate towards her- we've never done anything but smile and ask her how her day has been. Friends? We had simply wanted to wish her joy.

I went into the bedroom, massaging my temples, repeating: "Don't take things personally," until it became a sing-song chant. Sitting on my edge of the bed, I sighed, trying very hard to not let it affect me- but it already had.

I picked up one of my favorite Goddess books, and thumbed through the pages, not really looking at the words, when suddenly, the book fell open to a certain page, and a phrase caught my eye:

"...in the darkness, find compassion- in the darkness, find your light."

I paused for a moment, feeling the Divine, comforting presence that I knew and cherished within me. The Goddess has her lessons for all of us. Compassion and pity poured from me, poured from my hands, my heart... There was nothing but love to feel for this woman. There was nothing but love.

I fell asleep with my head upon Jenn's shoulder, a Goddess prayer repeating itself in hushed tones, over and over in my head. "Goddess, hold me with your light- Mother, keep me day and night." The gentle litany made me think of nothing else but peace, and I drifted away into the land of dreams, held by Her love.

What else is there to say? What else is there to do, but feel compassion and love? This is the season of darkness, but I will direct light where I can. And I will let mine continue to shine. I can not say that I am no longer hurt by this... I'm guess I'm just not that evolved yet, unfortunately (*chuckles*)... But I'm going to try to learn my lessons like the Child of the Goddess that I am. I'm going to try to practice compassion in everything... Yes. Even in this.