I Resolve to Eat More Chocolate

I've never been a resolution sort of girl. I assumed that if I really wanted to do something in the year, I wouldn't have to promise myself it'd get done. I'm a free spirit, so tying myself down with obligations never seemed like the best idea- even if they were obligations to myself.

This year, I'm approaching the thought of resolutions with a spiritual mindset... meaning I'm going to have fun with them. So I sat down, and stared at a blank piece of paper and asked the Goddess for wisdom. And levity. This is what I came up with:

1. DO NOT STRESS ABOUT THE WEDDING! OR BUYING A HOUSE! OR ANYTHING!! AT ALL! EVER!
This one was kind of easier said than done. I have the tendancy- free spirit aside- to worry about large, hard to handle things. I consider a wedding sort of massive- like an elderly elephant that will really do what it wants to do. And buying a house? Sort of like a brontosaurus... but slightly less extinct. Either way, they're both very large animals. The saying goes, you can eat an elephant if you take one bite at a time... did anyone ever ask the elephant what he thought of that?

2. Get up early enough in the morning to do yoga or belly dance. Every morning.
I do yoga and belly dance... after work. Or during work on my lunch break. I'm all about having spiritual moments during the incredibly mundane, but how enlightened could anyone possibly get while thinking about spreadsheets? A yoga (or belly dance) morning practice has been a wish of mine for years... It's my NotAMorningPersonItis that results in it not being a reality. Until this year! Really! Goddess help me!

3. Memorize two to three poems a month.
There was a time when I could recite Shakespeare and Byron and Keats at any moment... I had an appropriate poetry stanza for any situation, and even if I didn't feel like sharing my very weird habit with the world, I could gleefully think about it. (I really should have been an English professor.) I miss it... and I realize that many of the poems need brushing up on... and there were poems I never got to... and it makes you all smart and stuff to memorize things. So I said: Why not? Bring on the Dickinson! :D

4. Write novels. Alot of them.
I do that anyway. Just... more. And better. Maybe with fewer vampires and incredibly dramatic gay men. (My favorite characters!)

5. Take time for myself each week.
Wouldn't we all like to do that? Have this blessed moment of free time completely devoid of obligation, worry and a hectic schedule? It's hard to attain in this busy world... but it's also absolutely essential. It's probably the only promise I can make for myself freely... I intend to have incredibly blissful aromatherapy laden baths~

6. Read a kabillion books. Maybe a kabillion and one.
In all the hustle and bustle of a writer's life, there's often precious few moments to read another writer's work... and yet it's absolutely essential. It's a strange situation. Reading has always been my favorite thing to do- in this coming year, I'm going to do alot more of my favorite thing~

I feel for the coming year a very fresh, light start... like the opening of windows on the first day of spring... all the cares of the winter gradually melt in the brisk wind of change. I'm ready for it!

May your 2007 be perfect and bright~

Blessed Solstice

Once upon a winter's night,
The sun grew dim and lost its light
And sunk into a reverent sleep
Of sweeter songs and dreams to keep.

He saw a love and perfect peace
And all the things our world could need.
He dreamed of children, good and kind
And saw the future in his mind,
He knew how things could someday be
...How we alone possessed the key.

And on the lonely, snowbound earth,
We gathered close and tended hearth
For if the fires shone tonight,
The sun would bring back his sweet light.
Celebrations danced the dark
As we acknowledged our pure spark,
For deep within us, love still burns
As now the sacred solstice turns...

As one, we raise our voices strong
And sing him back, our blessed sun.

~EK 12.21.06

To All the World~

Understanding

This Saturday, I was wrapping presents with my Mum... Soft, winter sunlight drifted through the windows and gauzy curtains, blanketing the kitchen in the cheerful glow I remember from my childhood. I cut pieces of paper, taped edges and signed tags as we spoke of nothing and everything... and then she paused for a moment.

"So." She said, setting down her pen. "Do you celebrate Christmas?"

It was a strange question, one that I hadn't been expecting. I thought about it for a second, and then answered: "Of course I do... But I also celebrate Yule. That's technically my Christmas."

"What's that?" She asked. I explained that Yule is a celebration of love and light on the darkest day of the year... it's a call for the sun to return to us- one that has been uttered since the dawn of time.

"What religion are you?" She whispered, then.

I told my Mother when I was fifteen that I was Pagan. I told her every year since then... it was something that she didn't want to hear or acknowledge, and it was a wedge between us that hurt me to the core. I would patiently listen to her lecture on the son of God, then try to interject how I saw things... to admonishments of hell and brimstone. It was something that we could not agree on, and something that she would not let go of.

"I'm Pagan, Mum." I told her again.

"What does that... mean?" She asked.

And for the first time in seven years... she listened.

But It IS a Grove! Really!

You're Pagan if:

During a game of Pictionary, you shout "Grove" instead of "Trees."

... It was at my company's holiday party, too. ;p

In Darkness, Find Your Light

From the minute we came home from work last night, until the minute our heads hit the pillows, we were shopping... there were so many little things left to get, even though we'd done most of it in November... we decided to try and do it all in one night.

It didn't end up working quite as we'd planned, and we still had several present-findings left to accomplish, when we came back home- exhausted- at the end of our shopping trip. We took off our shoes, stretched our aching muscles and noticed that our answering machine light was blinking: one message.

We live in an apartment building of four apartments- the lovely woman across from us adores us, the young man that lives above her is very shy (so we never see him), and the lady above us...? She never met us, and decided that she truly disliked us. She's made our stay in the apartments ... horrible (Specific problems left unsaid here, of course). We tried to see past that this holiday season, and left a little card outside of her door- a simple wish for happiness this month, with our names signed.

She had waited until we left our aparment to look up our phone number, call us and leave us this message:

"Thanks for the card... but I just want you to know that I have *no* intentions of being friends with you people. Merry Christmas. *click*"

We listened to the message, dumbstruck... and hurt. We've never been anything but kind and compassionate towards her- we've never done anything but smile and ask her how her day has been. Friends? We had simply wanted to wish her joy.

I went into the bedroom, massaging my temples, repeating: "Don't take things personally," until it became a sing-song chant. Sitting on my edge of the bed, I sighed, trying very hard to not let it affect me- but it already had.

I picked up one of my favorite Goddess books, and thumbed through the pages, not really looking at the words, when suddenly, the book fell open to a certain page, and a phrase caught my eye:

"...in the darkness, find compassion- in the darkness, find your light."

I paused for a moment, feeling the Divine, comforting presence that I knew and cherished within me. The Goddess has her lessons for all of us. Compassion and pity poured from me, poured from my hands, my heart... There was nothing but love to feel for this woman. There was nothing but love.

I fell asleep with my head upon Jenn's shoulder, a Goddess prayer repeating itself in hushed tones, over and over in my head. "Goddess, hold me with your light- Mother, keep me day and night." The gentle litany made me think of nothing else but peace, and I drifted away into the land of dreams, held by Her love.

What else is there to say? What else is there to do, but feel compassion and love? This is the season of darkness, but I will direct light where I can. And I will let mine continue to shine. I can not say that I am no longer hurt by this... I'm guess I'm just not that evolved yet, unfortunately (*chuckles*)... But I'm going to try to learn my lessons like the Child of the Goddess that I am. I'm going to try to practice compassion in everything... Yes. Even in this.

'Tis the Season~

'Tis the season for the giving of gifts and the granting of wishes. Having a little trouble choosing a sweet gift? Most of my friends enjoy creature comforts more than anything else... and given from another makes the gift twice as special. Here's a few of my personal favorites.

- Aroma Sanctum makes fabulous lotions and perfume oils, hand blending them all! Located in Salem, Mass., I've had the pleasure of first-hand experience from this quaint little shop and the lovely owner. Some amazing blends are "Scarlet Letter," "Earth" and "Shangri-la."

- Handmaidens Garden hand makes all of their delectable body bars, butters, lotions and soaps... They are an absolute delight for the senses. Again, these are all hand blended scents. "High Priestess" and "Earthly Essence" are *awesome.*

- Jenness Farm uses goat milk to create delicious lotions, soap bars and body care products. Their customer service is excellent and they *love* their goats. What a great place to buy from! (Their Juniper Breeze lotion is to *die* for- and *no* animals were hurt in the making of it- something Bath and Body Works can't say.)

- Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab makes beautiful perfume oils. I place this company last, simply because everyone has (or should have!) heard of it. :) Their blends are magical, their ethics even more so. A company built on sauciness and magick- who could ask for more?

(Other companies I have not yet had the pleasure to purchase from, but were recommended to *me* are: Wylde Ivy, Skindazzles, Villainess and Althaea.)

Thoughts on Stars (And Apologies on Absences!)

It's been a little while... the cold morphed into a stomach-flu-thingy and that kind of knocked me out for a few weeks. Hopefully, my immune system shall be fantastically happy from now on... and nice to me. Nice to me would be good. ;)

When I was very sick, the curtains were drawn in the bedroom. I wanted nothing more than a whiff of fresh air, or a glimpse of strong branches outside my window- so I opened one set of curtains. In the early morning, I came awake and simply watched the stars. Kind, silent presences that- by their very existence- gave me comfort and a small measure of strength, they twinkled in the grand dome of the sky, winking and whispering their magic. I thanked them silently, smiling and feeling at peace.

Certain stars have long been my friends. The gathering of sister stars in the constellation of Cassiopeia always garner a sweeping bow and gentle smile from me in their direction. I used to take long walks beneath them- beneath the gentle guidance of Mother Moon and an endless perpetuation of midnight black... I loved it- I reached up my hands and danced beneath the sky as if that small offering could show the gratitude I felt for it all.

Here's a secret:

I still do.